Wizard of Gauze
by Juinleeope
Summary: Parody for Wizard of Oz: When Dorcas, a farm girl, gets athlete's hand, she travels with her 'dog' Frodo to the Wizard of Gauze and meets several wacky characters along the way.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is our parody for the Wizard of Oz. We also filmed it last summer here is the link: watch?v=wC50onzjNdU**

Juinleeope Productions

Wizard of Gauze

**Scene 1:**

[scene opens up with DORCAS and FRODO picture is black and white]

DORCAS: Oh Frodo, did she hurt you bad?

FRODO: Why do you care?

DORCAS: [ignores FRODO this is a running joke throughout film] Oh poor thing, I know she looked tasty, but you know how Miss Gulp is about dogs biting her face.

FRODO: I'm a person!

DORCAS: Ah I feel a song coming on

CUE "Somewhere over the Poncho"

DORCAS: Somewhere over the poncho-

CARLEE: Ok stop, stop it (music stops)! Ok there's going to be no singing in this! This is juinleeope! We don't do singing. And above all else this movie is NOT going to be a musical.

TITLE APPEARS, "WIZARD OF GAUZE, the MUSICAL"

CARLEE screams

DORCAS: Oh Aunt Poem, Miss Gulp will be here any minute

AUNT POEM**: **(petting an imaginary cat) Pet my cat you twit. And don't throw a fit.

DORCAS: Oh Aunt Poem, you know I hate it when you rhyme

AUNT POEM: Can't help that poem is my name, now leave me alone or go play a game

DORCAS sighs and walks toward WAVY, GARY, and SCHMOE

DORCAS: Wavy what do I do? I don't know if I can stand up to Miss Gulp

WAVY: There's nothing to be scared about, except for one thing (shudders) Carlee

DORCAS: I don't see why Carlee is so scary…she's a really nice person

WAVY: I don't know you know how some people have weird fears like fear of snow, fear of teenagers, fear of fears well I just have one irrational fear and it's (CARLEE walks in)

CARLEE: Hey Wavy

_Wavy screams and runs away. _

CARLEE: Boy, what was that all about (walks away)

DORCAS: Schmoe I don't think I'll have enough energy to put up with Miss Gulp

SCHMOE: You don't have any energy? Well I'm super-duper hyper you see I just had five cups of coffee and I feel like I can do anything (runs off)

DORCAS: Gary any ideas?

GARY: Well I'm told that duct-tape solves the world's problems

DORCAS: Gary, this is 1938 duct tape hasn't been invented yet

GARY: Hmm, well does tin foil work?

DORCAS: Never mind.

MISS GULP struts in like a diva with a bite mark on her face

MISS GULP**: ** [with Jersey accent] Oy, Poem. I want to see your daughter.

GARY: Dude, what's with the really bad Jersey accent? We don't even live in New Jersey

MISS GULP: Shaddup. Any ways it's about my face.

AUNT POEM: Gulp, it's not Dorcas's fault your face is so awful. And Dorcas? Please go fetch me a waffle.

DORCAS: We're out of batter

MISS GULP: Oh yeah, then what about this bite mark to my face?

WAVY: I say it's an improvement

MISS GULP: Shaddup (Wavy walks away) anyways that dog needs to go to the pound kid.

FRODO: I'm a person! A person! Can anyone else see that! AM I not speaking English.

DORCAS: Oh, Gulp you made poor Frodo upset (she hugs FRODO)

FRODO: I guess that I'm not!

MISS GULP: I hope it feels bad about what it did. I'll call the sheriff and then I'll take him into the pound. (grabs a basket) Now here Frodo climb into the basket like a good puppy

Basket is obviously way too small for FRODO to climb in

FRODO: Um, no thanks. (walks away)

MISS GULP: Fine, I'll come back for him later. (leaves)

GARY: (peers into the sky) Is that what I think it is?

Wind sound picks up

SCHMOE: (bounces ping pong ball on paddle) 501…502…I could do this all day long!

WAVY: Schmoe cut that out don't you see what's out on the horizon!

SCHMOE stops playing game

SCHMOE: But I was about to get my new record…(peers off into distance and gasps) you're right we'd better alert the others

GARY: Everyone! It's a-It's a

ALL: Twister!

_Scene cuts to all the characters playing the actual game "Twister" and they all fall down and the camera shakes and the picture changes to color_


	2. Chapter 2

**Scene Two**

DORCAS: Oh no Frodo look at my hand (Camera reveals a severe case of "Athletes hand" on her left hand) I think it might be Athlete's hand from playing Twister with the others.

FRODO: Is even such a thing as-

DORCAS: Frodo, I have a feeling we're not in Ohio anymore.

Giggling sound effect plays

FRODO: Where is that giggling sound effect coming from?

CLEVELAND**: **From right over here…now are you a good itch or a bad itch?

DORCAS: No, I'm not an itch

CLEVELAND: Well is that an itch

DORCAS: Oh no that's my dog

FRODO: Person!

CLEVELAND: Oh ok, me and the Punch-chins where just wondering

FRODO: What's a Punch-chin? (A Punch-chin walks out and punches FRODO on the chin) OK! I get the pun ha-ha.

CLEVELAND: So anyways I'm the good itch of the North. Otherwise known as Ohio, but you can call me Cleveland …yeah that's a nasty itch you got growing on your hand

DORCAS: Oh yeah, you know twister who knew I'd get athlete's hand?

CLEVELAND: Perhaps I could help (waves wand and red gloves appear on her hands)

DORCAS: Wow, ruby red gloves!

CLEVELAND: Just wear them so people don't freak out when they see your hands, and so now you must visit the wizard of Gauze! She works medical wonders.

FRODO: What are we waiting for (tugs on her shirt) come on.

CLEVELAND: But first a musical number!

"Follow the Jell-O Brick Road"

PUNCH-CHINS: Follow the Jell-O Brick Road. Follow the Jell-O Brick Road. Follow, follow, follow, follow (music is interrupted by evil music and NEW JERSEY walks on)

NEW JERSEY**: **Hey who stole my red gloves? (CLEVELAND points to DORCAS) Hey little girl no one steals gloves from the bad itch of the East, otherwise known as New Jersey.

DORCAS: Well you can't have them back. I feel rather stylish in them, and besides they help me not itch (itches hand) sort of.

NEW JERSEY: Well know this, I'll get you my little pretty and your little dog too (disappears)

FRODO: A person! Person!

DORCAS: Oh she upset poor Frodo, ah Frodo I remember the first day I found you

**A/N: (behinds the scenes of the film) 'athletes' hand was basically purple marker drawn all over Dorcas's hand. The costume Frodo used was also Gaston's costume from sound of music**

**More Behinds the scenes coming your way from the making of the script and film.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Scene Three**

FLASHBACK TO SCENE FROM LORD OF THE RINGS (we'll obviously shoot this)

SAM**: **Oh, Mr. Frodo we're so close to Mount Mortar I can almost taste it.

DORCAS appears.

FRODO: You're right Sam (both don't notice DORCAS sneaking up)

DORCAS: Oh, a poor lost puppy. Adoption time! (Grabs Frodo) Shazam! (Snaps fingers and they disappear)

SAM: Mr. Frodo?

FLASHBACK ENDS

DORCAS: Oh well flashback time is over we've got to get to the Wizard of Gauze

**Scene Four**

DORCAS: Hmm where should we go next?

SCARECARLEE Beats me I'm not a G.P.S.

DORCAS: Oh not you, random inanimate object, I was just talking to myself aloud.

SCARECARLEE: What about your friend there?

DORCAS: Oh, that's my dog; he wouldn't understand what we're saying

FRODO sighs.

DORCAS: Sorry, you probably get this a lot. But what type of inanimate object are you?

SCARECARLEE: Why, I'm a Scare Carlee

DORCAS: I'm sorry?

SCARECARLEE: A ScareCarlee, now watch this. (CARLEE walks up and SCARECARLEE says, "Boo," and CARLEE screams) Ah, the joys of life.

DORCAS: Um yeah you have problems.

SCARE: I know…I wish I wouldn't get pleasure out of scaring Carlee, but it's so much fun.

DORCAS: Maybe you should come with me to the Wizard of Gauze. I hear she works medical wonders…

SCARE: Sure, why not? (they skip down the road to the Tin Foil man)

**A/N: Behinds the scenes: the same person played Carlee and ScareCarlee. The character who played Sams actual name is Sam.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Scene Five**

TINFOIL**: **Hot dog. Hot dog.

DORCAS: Did you say something?

SCARE: I think she's saying, hot dog.

DORCAS: OH! I have a left over one from lunch (pulls out hotdog and Tinfoil man eats some and then wraps the leftovers in tin foil)

TINFOIL: Thanks, I missed lunch

FRODO: I hear yah…I can't even eat at the dinner table because "dogs aren't allowed to sit there" or the couch or-

TINFOIL: I'm kind of sad, because I wish I was made out of something cooler like duct tape or something like that but all I'll ever do is preserve leftovers (sighs.)

DORCAS: Why don't you come with us to the Wizard of Gauze?

**DELETED SCENE**

TINFOIL: Sounds great can I sing?

(sings)

I would be a cool dude

Not preserving the food

From rotting all away

If there only an escape

Instead I want to be

Made of duct tape

SCARE: Hey how come I didn't get a song?

**DELETED SCENE**

DORCAS: We're on a time crunch…deal with it! (they run into a forest)

**A/N: Behind the scenes: The tinfoil man's costume was also used in Beauty the Beast performance during ****_Be our guest _****Song.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Scene Six**

SCARE: Hey in these woods there could be all sorts of stuff, dangerous stuff.

TINFOIL: Hey I thought you said she was a scare Carlee, then what's with the creepy voice, she's starting to scare me.

DORCAS: She's right there could be Lions, or Tigers or

SCARE: Bunnies!

ALL but SCARE: What?

SCARE: Ok if you've seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail we all know bunnies are not to be messed with

UNMOTIVATED LION**:** Rawr. (pathetically)

TINFOIL: Wow that was, pathetic.

UNMOTIVATED LION: I'm the unmotivated lion, yeah I don't feel like doing much

FRODO: How about you guys go out to the wizard of gauze and I chill out here? (to herself) and run away, ahem.

DORCAS: How can you be so unmotivated? There are places to be seen and things to do

LION: Eh, nah.

TINFOIL: Come with us to the Wizard of Gauze, maybe he'll introduce you to caffeine

LION: I guess so

They all skip and pathetically fall down

FRODO: Fail ha-ha!

**Scene Seven **

NEW JERSEY: (To Skunk) So they are getting closer to the Wizard, I think we'd better pull a few tricks of our own soon! Hee hee hee!

(transition to Limestone city)

**DELETED SCENE:**

TINFOIL: Ah, Limestone city. The only city know to be made completely out of lime stone…I think that's about it

SCARE: Let's hope no acid rain falls…

TINFOIL: Let's go!

LION: Yay (pathetically)

**END OF DELETED SCENE**

They enter castle

WIZARD **(Carlee):** (scary voice) who dare enter?

DORCAS: It's me Dorcas!

WIZARD: Oh, hey what's up!

DORCAS: Do I know you?

WIZARD: Probably not, but why are you here?

SCARE: We hear that you can work medical wonders

WIZARD: Oh my what a cute dog you have!

FRODO: Please send help! This girl's insane! Have her arrested for kidnapping!

WIZARD: Oh who's a good doggie? Yes you are! (pats FRODO on the head) Anyways sure I can help you out, but you gotta do me a favor first.

TINFOIL: Like what?

WIZARD: Bring the itch of the East's ointment cream, then I'll give you what you want. (disappears)

LION: Sounds easy enough

**A/N: Behind the scenes: The wizard's dress was actually Dorcas's prom dress. The wizard is Dorcas's sister. Part of the unmotivated lion's costume is from the Big bad wolf in Goldilocks on trial's costume.**


End file.
